Storm Before the Rainbow

Err tomorrow will be block test liao, but I feel quie unprepared. Even though I should be mugging hard and finished revision on Wed according to my revision schedule, the "inevitable" slacking makes that goal quite a unattainable. Hmm. I'm still left with equilibrium (probably can finish today), energetics and kinetics, organic + periodicity (the last few topics). Hopefully I can finish them. Err think Maths I need to look at the solution on EMB...How about Bio? Shit, why did they put it on the same day as Maths? 

 Saturday was xiaopin 1st round. To be honest, not everything is settled as well as I would had liked. Not that I had the motivation to settle everything though. Anyway the stage trial ended on a dumb note, with the lorry driver going to the wrong place. The instruction was to go to tennis court, but the driver went to the one near the swimming pool =_=. Oh well, by the time the lorry came over, it's already like 130. Hmm. The stage trial is mixed. There's more facelight which brings some cheer to Danny. But sounds complained that they dont really know how to work the system. And soon the 10 mins is up. When sounds try to enquire about some stuff on Sat, you-know-what AP-ed us by saying that everything should be asked beforehand and we will not be entertained. So we were stoning there, unable to start, before I asked again how to operate. 
 
The performance was not that great anyway. Our actors were not fully "ru xi", and it showed very clearly. As a matter of fact, this had been a problem since the 1st 3 months which is not really solved. And then, they cannot project their voice properly. I'm struggling to catch the lines. I hesistated whether to down the volume, but didn't do it in the end. Overall, it's pretty dry and rather boring, and I think they deserves "thunderous applause". But at least there's some light effects and we can enjoy the wonderful sounds :D 

Meanwhile it's obvious the organization of the competition is screwed up, considering that 3 of the 5 judges don't have art background. And it's still chaotic. 

Meanwhile I would applaud the other schools for putting in so much effort, if you had seen the sets/costume they brought in. One school even brought a smoke machine to create the eerie/scary atmosphere. One school had this "milo tin tower", and I cant really figure out about its real purpose. It takes a lot of effort, but not particularly significant in my opinion.

Unfortunately, it would be better if they had focused more attention on the script, which is pretty messed up for most of the schools. As you watched more and more schools and rotted in the place underserved called a "theatrette", you notice some recurring similarties for most of the school performances. Basically, there's seem to be some sort of "xiao pin formula" for the best way to score your way through to the final. In my opinion, there's 2 major "formula". 

First of all, we had the slapstick ones. Basically, there's a general plot, if you can call that a plot, with all sorts of opportunities used to inject humour to tickle the crowd. Note that crowd response, aka how loud your school supporters laugh/clap/anything does affects the judges. For these performances, it's typical to find someone acting gay/idiot. However, there won't be significant artistic value and I take it as just that: live show of B-movies. If you take it as just entertainment, then it's pretty tolerable and you actually find it funny at times. Unfortunately, these rarely get past the 1st round unless it contains some "high class slapstick" (does it exist?) 

And then we had the "emo/quarrel-catharsis-resolution-moral of story" kind. Typically, the bulk of it is spent emo-ing about lots of stuff, which includes most of very fake and 煽情 scene. Note that some schools also tried to quarrel their way through, which irritates my ears thoroughly. Somehow for the quarrel ones, they always seem to be fighting for inheritance. Oh well. And then sometimes during the 11 mins mark, plus minus 1-2 mins, we will reach the climax of the show. 
For the emo-kind, one or more characters would suffer from some sort of mental breakdown, so as to generate the emotional impact and the punch to cover for the shallowness of the plot. For the quarrel ones, there would be even fiercer quarrel, or typically fighting to highlight the rise in tension. 
And then somehow, there would be a catharsis，or a state whereby the characters suddenly entered a state of moral cleansing, and realized all the wrongs they had done leading to the resolution. However, this is generally without much build-up, which makes the whole things look very fake. 
As if this is not enough, some schools also inserted an artificial epilogue right at the end, whereby one character would explain the moral of the story. This is not surprising, considering that the judges are screwed and there's a need to tell the audience what is all about after the confusion. And then let's face it, this is a competition and you need the judges to remember you. What ways than to insert a "gentle reminder"?

But this doent make artisitc sense. 

Anyway, it's plain that our script amended according to the 2nd formula. 
emo-quarrel - checked 
catharsis - fighting
resolution - "sun rising in the sky"

Hmm

The past 7 days had been a mixed week for me, with some ups but substantial rubbish. 

Let me start on a positive note. I was rather surprised when I logged into ISP and saw my results. At least I'm not 1% for all the subjects, and I actually gotten B for KI :D. Not bad, considering tha I got S for essay for promo. It turned out that section A was badly done, as it's too generic or what the tutors called "stock response". On 2nd thought, my section A could very well meant to be written for qns 2 instead, and I couldn't have been out of point. But the problem is, I was not "in point" either. The 2nd essay  on arts was much better though. Interestingly, I only quoted 1-2 theories for arts. I think this goes to show that content knowledge is just content unless you shaped it into an argument for your essay. 

On another note, the presidential election is a welcome escape from lessons, as I hear by now the familiar promises like "fighting for your welfare" and stuffs. I think none of these would actually moved me, as I already heard too much empty rhetoric and too little concrete action. Worryingly, there seems to be "implict stabbing" going by some of the questions being asked. Some candidates were indirectly accused of cheating/offending people etc., which was perhaps even more damaging than a direct accusation. Reason being that the person involved needs to acknowledge the allegation before he or she can even defend himself/herself. Yet the damage was already done since the questions are directly to particular candidates. 

Not that I really cared though. 

Friday was voting and there had been heavy rain. The final appeal for votes reflected much more than the Q and A for me. Honestly, I can't remember what did the 2 guys said, but it should be pretty standard stuff. Rhea (sorry if I got her name wrong) seems pretty sincere and really willing to change the council, which prompt me to vote for her. I think she will probably fail in reform (wait dont think she wants to reform, but she said she wanted to improve the council if there's room to), but it's good to have idealist. The last candidate was saying stuff like "game room" and "playing cards", which is clearly populist and said off the top of your head. It amazes me that she actually said this to the J2, who will be more discerning in my opinion. 

Never mind. 

Wow "happy holiday" seems to be an oxymoron these days, no thanks to  the mountain of work to be done. 

First of all the school gave quite a lot of homework over the holidays. And even if you want to do absolutely nothing about them , there are still quiz waiting for you. Thus, in one way or another, you surely need to do your work especially if you are trying to catch up. For other academic stuff, it is likely that there will not be enough time next year. As such, it is wise to start right now, so as to save more time for other stuffs.

For these nearly 2 full months of holidays, there had been almost endless meeting on script/designs for Huang Cheng. Rarely a day goes by without a meeting, moreover it is likely that you need to use it to prepare for the next meeting (amending script, giving instructions to designers, doing minutes, arrange meeting time and venue...).  

Besides preparing for next year's performance, Nov is spent on preparing for drama camp. To be honest, I'm not really involved in the planning but the run + the actual thing took out a week, which is significant. 

In Dec, further deadline looms over the horizon. You need to confirm set design, finalize colours and so on. Then I will be going overseas to give myself a break. But with so much going on, I doubt I would really relax much. And then I also need to go for attachment, which means yet another week gone.

There are no end in sight. Even the flickering beam of light at the tunnel had been blocked by a big boulder. I think I need to start using a magnifying glass to see what empty slots I had in my schedule.

PS. OMG, haven't really started on IS, script and Hol. Hw. DIE

My Personality

Neuroticism	45
Extraversion	43
Openness To Experience	67
Agreeableness	77
Conscientiousness	60

You do not experience strong, irresistible cravings and consequently do not find yourself tempted to overindulge, however you feel tense, jittery, and nervous and often feel like something dangerous is about to happen. You may be afraid of specific situations or be just generally fearful. You tend to feel overwhelmed by, and therefore actively avoid, large crowds. You often need privacy and time for yourself. You tend not to express your emotions openly and are sometimes not even aware of your own feelings. You dislike confrontations and are perfectly willing to compromise or to deny your own needs in order to get along with others, however you are willing to take credit for good things that you do but you don't often talk yourself up much. You take your time when making decisions and will deliberate on all the possible consequences and alternatives.

Test Yourself Compare Yourself View Full Report A wide variety of layouts for myspace to choose from.

1.	Anthropologist
2.	Lobbyist
3.	Rehabilitation Counselor
4.	Sport Psychology Consultant
5.	Actor
6.	Mediator
7.	Criminologist
8.	Addictions Counselor
9.	Foreign Service Officer
10.	Activist
11.	Comedian
12.	Casting Director
13.	Psychologist
14.	Communications Specialist
15.	Print Journalist
16.	Critic
17.	Political Aide
18.	Writer
19.	Public Policy Analyst
20.	Public Relations Specialist

Wow I must say it's generally quite accurate, since I thought about having some of those above. However I have absolutely no idea what's antropologist,

I'm not advocating gambling, but it's just that I find some parallels between gambling and certain schools subjects. 

Bio is like buying 4D. You can argue that the more you mug, the higher the chances of winning because you bought more numbers. Unfortunately, you still may not hit the jackpot. You may try to beg for some "lucky numbers" with all sorts of questionable standard, but that won't really guarantee you the prize. The only fool-proof way is to literally to buy all the numbers and mug everything....Oh btw, did I say that the bookie/Singapore pool always win?

As for physics, it's akin to buying toto. There's obviously less things to study as reflected by the smaller "numbers of number" of around 40 as compared to 4D's 10, 000. Unfortunately due to something called permutation and application, the odds of winning toto is actually much smaller than winning 4D, though arguably it's easier to buy 4D. 

Maths is like playing dice/roulette/slot machine. There's nothing much to learnt in terms of formula and etc. so there's only 6 faces. However, the amount of things you can bet is deceiving. The reason being that there's much lesser control over what can come out, so on average it's even harder to win. 

As for essay-based subjects like say econ/history..., they are similar to poker. You may build up your hand by revising a lot, but it still depends whether or not you are able to respond to the flow of play (essay question). Thus, the skills of playing is equally important as getting the cards. 

Oh btw, do leave nothing to chance for promo because the stakes are too high. I certainly don't want to see anyone I know risking promotion in a showhand.

If we rank all the students in Hwa Chong, there seems to be few layers of clear sediments being formed. Risking hasty generalization,  the high school ISpark ppl seems to be at the top, other students from nanyang and other school in the middle while mainstream high school student at the bottom. Is IP standard so low?

I understand that college is very tough and competitive, but it's amazing to see so many struggling like crazy, like myself. 

We had been thrown into the deep end of the pool, to either swim or sink. I think currently I'm at the risk of sinking due to the great weight of slacking pulling me down. 

But I guess the only thing is to.........is to just keep swimming. just keep swimming. just keep swimming

For the alternative is suffocating and drowning to your death. 

And I don't think that the best (in terms of pain incurred) way to die.

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Read the following article on our ex-principal. You can also find it at http://www.zaobao.com/fk/fk070630_505.html.

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潘星华

小依：

　　华侨中学前任校长杜辉生是我二十多年跑教育新闻的好朋友。虽然退休多年，这位“新加坡教育的先行者”，还是我经常讨教的人。最近为了写特选中学，我们又见面了。 　　

　　这位华侨中学毕业生，在上世纪70年代，对母校“欲振乏力”的表现，颇为焦心。

　　他29岁出任裕廊中学校长，1979年出任华中校长时，只有39岁。

　　他说：“一所学校无论有多辉煌的历史，后继无力，在各种活动，表现不出成绩的话，再光辉的过去，也会被人遗忘。当时我是学校体育理事会主席，看到华中在学校体育理事会上的讲话没有被人听到，没有受到应有的尊重，让我很焦心。”

　　1978年华中校董和校友找上门来，请他回去掌校的时候，他虽然不舍得放下经营10年，已有成绩的裕廊中学，可面对振兴母校的使命，他是义无反顾的。

　　他说：“我是为恢复母校往日光辉，和身为华文教育堡垒的地位而回去，特选中学计划的推行是适逢其会。当日华中无论是不是特选中学，我都要去进行全面改革。”

　　当年华中学生某些体育项目取得全国冠军，杜辉生采取全校放假的奖励措施。

　　他说：“这是为了引起家长注意学校的成就。家长发现孩子不上课，问起来原来是学校得了全国冠军。这样的口碑，非常有效。”
训育主任和音乐老师合作把《满江红》列为“第二校歌”，学生必唱，也是他提高学生士气的策略。

　　他说：“岳飞这首词不仅慷慨激昂，气壮山河，而且深刻表达他执著收复失地的坚定信念和无所畏惧的英雄气概。‘待从头收拾旧河山，朝天阙’正表达了华中要收复河山的心志。”

　　当时不少老教师因为跟不上改革形势而离开，其中包括很多杜辉生学生时代，疼惜他的老教师。

　　他说：“要重振雄风，必须在各方面大刀阔斧，就连原本种在校门口的一排木麻黄树也不例外。这些树因为落叶很多，浪费人力照顾，结果都被我砍光，改种青龙木。这样做，当然更引起老教师的气愤。”

　　他在一个非常对抗的环境，开始了“敢叫日月换新天”，让华中脱胎换骨的大工程。这位被学生誉为“亲手改写校史”的校长说：“我什么都不怕，因为我无所求。”

　　人没有私心就能战胜一切，不是么？
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No wonder many people credited him for turning the school around, and I admire his passion and determination to turn the school around. 人没有私心就能战胜一切. I think it's quite true because I read somewhere that the only way to triumph over the lust of power is to give it up (in an article on  now Ex-PM Tony Blair).

I read an interesting paragraph about the relationship between the 3 sciences, in a chem reference book written by Peter Cann and Peter Hughes. So here goes: 

"Chemistry is the central science, at the crossroad of biology and its associated discipline on the one hand, and pohyscis on the other. Chemistry relies on physics for its understanding of the fundamental building blocks of matter, and biology the process that go on inside them that we call life. Standing at the crossroads, the chemist is uniquely positioned to understand, and make significant contributions to, many interdisciplinary area of current and future importance".

Like what I learnt during my first make-up KI lesson, the body of knowledge is continuous in reality and consistent with one other, such that it is difficult to say when Biology end or when Chemistry begins. The truth be told, we need to integrate different perspectives to gain a complete understanding of an issue. 

In case I remembered incorrectly, Mr Tan said that the divisions between subjects are merely artificial. I believe (or maybe that's what he told me) this divison arise due to 2 main reasons. 

Firstly, although "everything is related to each other" to quote Mr. Lim, we should learn things systematically. This is particular pertinent for primary and secondary education, when the student had not gained adequate knowledge. The lack thereof makes them unable to see things from a broader perspective and the relations between each discipline, or simply put the so-called "helicopter ability". Thus, at the primary and secondary stage, we should aim to build a strong foundation in each subject, and hopefully the student will be able to see the links later on.

Secondly, we can only focus on a particular area for our higher education, so there is a need to set the boundary on what should be included and what is not.

However, I believe that ultimately, we should seek to remove the artificial barrier and learn the relations of everything to everything else, or what Plato will call "perfect knowledge". It is a lofty goal. However, if we set our heart working in that direction, maybe they will not be as distant as the stars.

If good game = screwed, I propose 2 new phrases. 

better game = even more screwed = chem bt
best game =very very screwed=maths bt 

I wonder if failing is "part of the game" (Carlsberg), but I hope failing is not for "Me, I and myself" (wonder if this is a quote but nvm).  

Edit: I intended the focus of this post to be on the proposed new lang, but the readers seems to think otherwise. Like what gujp may want to say, the writer/author and readers may look at something from different perspectives and infuse different meanings. Although the comments are not really about the new lang, I find your comments rather interesting. Life is full of surprises, and I'm thankful for the ones what you all gave.

Ok so anyway the block is over. Like all the horror stories I heard about half the cohort failing, this block test is really something of a nightmare to me. Apparently, it meant to be that way. As the papers are ultra-difficult, we are forced to study much harder to get the desired grade. But then again, if everyone is doing badly, I suppose it's not so bad. Moreover, since it's already over, what's done had been done. Although the grades are pretty dismal, this “shock therapy” of setting super-diff papers to raise standard seems to be pretty effective. I wonder why we often choose the path worst for us. Is it possible for us to mug even if the paper is easy? 

For the current block test, I sort of organize/attend study session to consolidate my content knowledge. For instance, there may be an econ session on the morning before the afternoon econ paper. However, I find it only effective when you had already finished mugging through the subject, and already had some basic ideas even for stuff which you are not really sure about. Otherwise you will probably be wasting your time there, since you had no idea what to ask when you do not know what you do not know. Your attention will probably be scattered across all the topics tested, and it is unlikely that you will be productive. Thus the session will not be able to meet the objective of last-minutes consolidation. 

Since we only time to mug for the very next subject during the session most of the time, there will probably not be insufficient time to actually fully understand what you are unsure of/have not mugged. For instance, I only looked at enthalpy and reaction kinetic on the day itself, so you can guess what happened to me. I find myself quite a big source of distraction, giving some random "fun fact". I wonder if I provide too much comic relief (if any) that it affects our concentration. In any case, I think I better come prepared next time.

Talking about preparation, I think I should seriously try to mug for everything covered next time. Due to procrastination partly and the lack of time, I did not really looked through all the topics. Sometimes, either I will just “look” at it literally or just skip it entirely. Because I did not study everything, I am not really sure about the concepts. Often, precious time needs to be spent for me to recall whether something is this way or another, and the time wasted may not be able to remove my uncertainty. 

As I skipped some stuff, obviously I am unable to do some of the questions. It is particularly annoying if the question integrate several topics (aka synoptic). You may be unable to do part one because you did not study that, but you may be able to do part 2 because you are actually good at it. However, “just” because you did not study for part 1, you cannot do the entire question. 

Although the “quiz-and-recall” method had been quite effective in memory work, sometimes I will be unable to recall what I already mugged. It’s as though I did not study the topic at all. I think it’s only during practice or do past year questions, that you will really know whether you actually understanding something already. Thinking that you know something can be a terrible mistake to make. 

The school seems to have a habit of putting a very difficult question first. While the order may be completely random or in order the topics are taught, the first questions definitely freaked me out. As a result, I am unable to concentrate and blank out subsequently. Besides not knowing what to do, it is quite demoralizing to be stumped by the very first question which actually destroys your confidence for the rest of the paper. 

In summary, if you know that you know, then you should be confident in yourself. If you know that you do not know, then you better ask to eliminate your doubts. If you do not know what you know, better mug for another round or try to calm yourself down if it is during the test. If you do not even know what you do not know, then I will “boo” you. 

Footnote: If you noticed, I did not include anything about how each paper goes and the grade I think I will get. The reason being that I will only include what is significant, and those are not part of it. Besides, it is too demoralizing for me to list a string of letters I think I will get. 

Despite my best effort this week, didn't really manage to clear my backlog to keep to the schedule to prepare for Blocks. Thus, up till Sunday 2.51pm (the time on my com.), I only managed to finish the following. Hopefully, this will be a morale booster, because I assumed others had been mugging more than me. 

Bio - I spent about 1 whole week compiling photo, respiration and DNA. Then I moved on to topics here and there, copying out key points, so I'm left with enzyme, lipid, microscope and organelles. That's quite a lot to finish, I know, but I hope I tackle the most difficult stuff already. And I have not been mugging the names of enzyme/intermediate of the cycle (G3P anyone?), so I'm probably rather screwed. Oh yah, and I find that testing yourself with the tutorial MCQ after you copy the key point in the notes is rather useful in enhancing understanding.  

Chemistry - Started quite late. Think I will need to practice mole and redox a few more times, because I'm not really sure. Currently left with bonding, energetic and kinetic. And shit, think shapes of molecule and calculation may kill me. 

Maths - most screwed of all. I only considered myself finished revising for P and C. Enough said. Hopefully can save myself with the mugging session. In extreme circumstances, think I will give up on sigma and induction, cos they take too much time to finish.

KI - Finished quite long ago. Read through all the stuff and looked through resources on group. Think I spend too much time on it. 

Econ - Finished the whole thing yesterday or rather this morning at around 2am. Think drawing graph may kill me, esp. the part on deadweight loss.

This reminds me of a quote, which goes somewhere along the line of "nothing is but what is not". 

Prince Charming: You. You can't lie. So tell me, puppet, where is Shrek? 
Pinocchio: Well, I don't know where he's not. 
Prince Charming: You're telling me you don't know where Shrek is? 
Pinocchio: Well, it wouldn't be inaccurate to assume that I couldn't exactly not say that there he's is almost partially incorrect. 
Prince Charming: So you do know where he is! 
Pinocchio: Oh, on the contrary. I'm possibly more or less not definitely rejecting the idea that in no way within the amount uncertainty that I undeniably... 
Prince Charming: Stop it! 
Pinocchio: ...do or do not know where he shouldn't probably be. If that indeed wasn't where he isn't. 

OK this is a filler post. There's nothing much I can blog about, with so much to do.....Haiz.

Almost half of the holiday is gone, and I had not started on my Block revision proper. This seriously sucks. When I surf other blog's with increasingly alarming over the impending doom, I shudder to think what will happen when I take my paper. There's always so much to do that you are distracted, so great a need to rest that you do not feel a need to do absolutely anything - like now. 

I resolve to work harder for the coming week to get some decent result for the block test.

You must have heard of the half glass of water before. Those who seen it as the half-filled are deemed to be optimistic, whereas those who seen it as half-empty are deemed to be pessimistic. As cliched as it may sounds, the matter of perspective does matter. You can get a very different conclusion even from the same experience. 

Instead of thinking of why you screwed your class test, maybe we should be glad that we did not screw your lecture test. Instead of being demoralized over the lousy U, S or E, at least things will not get worse next time. Finally, if you went depressed over the lousy results, at least it's not the A level! 

For in this depressing world of repeated failure and yet more failure, optimism is all that we have left. 

:|

Amazing as it sounds, I actually gotten better grades for subjects I took in term 2 than those I took in term 1. For instance, I gotten A for H1 Econ though the quiz is super-easy and everyone did well, B for KI though that's not really under test condition (I didn't really timed myself). In contrast, I gotten S for Chem and Maths. Haiz. And I actually screwed the 2nd Chem test, which I think is actually do-able....

Am I screwing up? Is it normal to even fail in the first place? Then how come some people still manage to get good results of As and Bs? Or am I over-committed? But it's not as if I'm taking part in many things. Argh, this is confusing. Yeah I know my result sucks now. I guess the only consolation I have is, at least I'm not taking CLL now :(

But guess what, I actually pass Bio! Ok, I'm just kidding when I said I passed for Bio. It's so freaking hard to pass the subject even with so much effort put in. I guess I need to learn how to work smart next time. I guess you need some sense of humour and certain level of delusion to keep yourself normal in such depressing times.

Been really busy these few days, though I don't really have tests coming up. It seems that I can only finished my work everyday only around midnight, and the work to be done never seems to end.

When I was having dinner today, my family and I were watching "Jia You Jin Soon". There's this line which really strikes me. Here goes: "You don't need a successful life to have a happy life. But you need a happy life to have a successful life". So should success be the means to the end or the end in itself?